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WAV File – 45 kb |
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Rockhound: Look, you wanna compare brain pans? I won the Westinghouse prize when I was 12, big deal. Published at 19, so what. I got a double doctorate from MIT at 22, chemistry and geology. I taught at Princeton for two and a half years. Why do I do this? Because the money's good, the scenery changes, and they let me use explosives, OK? |
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WAV File – 30 kb |
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Oscar Choi: If you had to say, who would you say?
A.J. Frost: I don't know, Oscar, who do you think you are?
Oscar Choi: Han Solo.
A.J. Frost: No. If anybody's anybody, I'm Han. And you're, you're Chewbacca.
Oscar Choi: Chewie? Have you even seen Star Wars? |
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WAV File – 13 kb |
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President: What kind of damage...?
Dan Truman: Damage? Total, sir |
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WAV File – 17 kb |
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Karl: I want to name her Dottie, after my wife. She's a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape. |
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WAV File – 23 kb |
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Jayotis Bear Kurleenbear: I am not crazy! I'm just a little emotional right now, ok? Ya'll throwing all this stuff at me, man! Look, I mean, after this is over, can I like get a hug from you or somethin? |
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WAV File – 11 kb |
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A.J. Frost: Have you ever heard of Evil Kinevil?
Lev Andropov: No, I never saw Star Wars. |
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WAV File – 16 kb |
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Rockhound: Guess what guys! It's time to embrace the horror! Look, we got front-row tickets to the end of the Earth! |
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WAV File – 10 kb |
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Grace Stamper: We call him Hound because, well, um, he's horny. |
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WAV File – 11 kb |
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Rockhound: Harry, this is illegal, man!
Harry S. Stamper: I'm temporarily insane, Rock, it's alright! |
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WAV File – 25 kb |
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Rockhound: Hey, Harry.
Harry S. Stamper: Yeah, Rock?
Rockhound: You know we're sitting on 4 million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon, and a thing that has two hundred and seventy thousand moving parts, built by the lowest bidder! |
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WAV File – 14 kb |
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Charles Chick Chapple: Harry, the clock on that nine foot nuclear weapon is ticking! |
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WAV File – 33 kb |
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Grace Stamper: The first time I got my period Rock had to take me into Taipei for Tampax and then he had to show me how to use 'em, Harry!
Rockhound: Oh! Uh, no, I told her how to use them, I didn't show her, Harry! |
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WAV File – 13 kb |
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Dan Truman: You said we did a bad job of putting it together?
Harry S. Stamper: No, I said you did a piss-poor job of putting it together! |
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WAV File – 22 kb |
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General Kimsey: We spend two hundred and fifty billion dollars a year on defense, and here we are, the fate of the planet is in the hands of a bunch of retards I wouldn't trust with a potato gun! |
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WAV File – 47 kb |
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Oscar Choi: What's it gonna be like up there?
Dan Truman: Two hundred degrees in the sunlight, minus two hundred in the shade. Canyons of razor-sharp rock. Unpredictable gravitational conditions. Unexpected eruptions, things like that.
Oscar Choi: OK, so the scariest environment imaginable. Thanks, that's all you gotta say. Scariest environment imaginable. |
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WAV File – 11 kb |
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Lev Andropov: American components, Russian components... all made in Taiwan! |
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WAV File – 32 kb |
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Harry S. Stamper: Yeah, one more thing, umm... None of them wanna pay taxes again... Ever. |
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